The good, the bad, and the ugly
With a countrywide lockdown in place, each and every citizen is quarantined within the four walls of their home. Quarantine has given us more “me time” and has changed the relationship we have with our own self. It has taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin, how to love myself more, and the freedom of being on my own. Since our social interaction is limited, I am accountable for keeping myself busy and maintaining my sanity through the lockdown. I am taking this time to better myself not only in my career, but with my personal relationships with the ones I love most. If anything this time has really taught me to live my life for ME.
What’s so crazy to me is the amount of time I’ve been able to self reflect on my life these last 2 months in lockdown!! So much has changed… for the good… the bad… and the ugly. Because I was living in NYC prior to quarantine, I rarely had the chance to take a breather from my busy bee lifestyle due to mine and the city’s natural hustle mentality. There was never a time in the last 6 months (that I could remember) where I blocked off a section in my calendar for just ME. And that my friends, is something that was missing in my life. From touring all over the world, to working on my side business, to styling/planning/directing my shoots, running from casting to casting, and making sure to designate days, hours, and minutes to my ex-boyfriend, I simply forgot the importance of ME TIME.
From watching the news every hour to scrolling social media a little too much, it’s easy to get lost in the noise of what’s going on around us. And you my love, are not alone in this. Now is the perfect time to improve on yourself. Now that I’ve been stuck inside for about 8 weeks, I’ve learned a whole lot about myself during this quarantine period:
1. APPRECIATION OF ALONE TIME
Traveling back to my family’s home in California with a full house (including extended family - 2 YOUNG nieces), I’ve never wanted more alone time in my life. I will do anything for 5 minutes of peace where there’s no toddler running around, songs from Frozen playing, or screaming when times become heated in my small house. It’s weird because as an extrovert, I always want to be around people especially when living in NYC. So many opportunities… so many people to meet.
A few things I currently enjoy doing during my alone time are writing on this blog again, biking along the bay trail for about 8-10 miles, self-photography and editing (I’m a novice), and even making TikTok videos here and there.
2. TAKING FOR GRANTED THE ABILITY TO GO ANYWHERE
Now that I simply have no choice but to stay home unless I’m helping my parents with grocery runs, I miss going out so much!!! I even get excited if I get to step inside a car now (how pathetic). I realized I’ve taken for granted the privilege to just walk around aimlessly, go to the studio, dance with my friends, and even grab dinner at my favorite little nook. As much as my wish to finally sleep in and do nothing all day everyday has finally come true, it has come to me that being unproductive everyday is just not the way I want to live life or the way ANYONE should live life. Missing my normal flow of my 7 day grind in the greatest city!!!!
3. FAMILY BECOMES EXTRA PRECIOUS
Family has always been important to me. But during the early portion of my quarantine in NYC, it quickly made me realize how much I want to be with my family and how safe I feel with them. Which is why I decided to fly from coast to coast back to my parent’s house in San Francisco. It was a tough decision on whether or not I should fly back home since I could have been a possible carrier of Covid-19. But I definitely felt at peace when I saw my parents run at me in SFO ‘s baggage claim 7 on an early Monday morning. It felt right, and that was when I found the answer to my question: Being with my family is my SAFE PLACE.
4. LEARNING TO GET CREATIVE WITH WHAT I HAVE
Now with everyone stocking up their house with food, gym equipment, toilet paper (lol) it was almost impossible to buy things in the store… let alone AMAZON. With their shipping date pushed back to a month sometimes 2, I found myself becoming an INVENTOR with whatever I found in the house. I realized I could be creative and make use of things I already have. As a full time content creator and part-time model, I am now required to do at home shoots. I’ve improvised with everyday objects such as using a plain white sheet, plants, mirrors and frames to create an at home photo studio set-up to take aesthetic pictures, using any space available in and outside my house to take my daily ballet class and HIIT workouts, and even creating a ballet barre from a clothes rack. The opportunities to make-shift things are endless. Normally, I would hit up my go-to photographer and look for an aesthetic background, travel to a nearby dance studio to dance, and go online to buy a portable barre; but now I can do everything at home with a shift of a mindset. With that comes my appreciation for every little thing that I have, and it truly has made living under quarantine a little bit more exciting!!
Pandemics don’t happen often and neither does quarantine. Use this chance whilst you have all this down time to better yourself from within, to advance in areas you’ve always wanted to achieve, reconnect with friends, crushes, maybe exes (idk… don’t necessarily recommend that one but you do you, honey). Most importantly give yourself the self-love that you need. So instead of looking at this quarantine negatively, let’s look on the brighter side! Find ways to make your life more interesting. No matter how sucky it can be, remember that there are always others who have it worse. So what have you learned about yourself in this quarantine period?
Xx,
Candy
